A cathargic start to the new year

Aruna Anbazhagan. Born in India, brought up in America, and now trying to find the balance between the two worlds. You see, I was never like most of the other kids put in my situation. I never wanted to be adapt to be the all American attitude. I always wanted to be connected to my Indian heritage and culture, but I always had that American flair to it all.

I used to have this big crisis over never fitting in anywhere. In India my obnoxious personality never sat quite well with elders, and in America my strict principles and morals were never fully understood by anyone. But I got over that junior year of high school. Here's an essay I even wrote on that incident:

"Culture is defined in the Merriam-Webster dictionary as “the customary beliefs, social forms, and material traits of a racial, religious or social group.” To me however, it is my life. It is in every decision I make, and in every goal I set.
Although my parents have raised me in America for the better part of my life, they never, to this day, let me forget the rich culture of my birthplace, India. Through classes, books, daily encouragement and even frequent trips back to India, my parents have brought me to respect and revere the culture of my ancestors. It became a part of me and still plays a significant role in every aspect of my life.
As high school came along however, things began to get a little more complicated. With peer pressure and the constant vigilance of other students, it started becoming harder to stand up for my culture on certain issues. Although I knew what I believed, it became easier to go along with everyone else and blend in, for I did not want to be the only one to stand out. I was confused, caught in the middle of two worlds, and trying to find my identity, all in one of the hardest places in life— high school.
Soon enough though, ring ceremony was to be planned and being the historian of our class, I was seen as a leader. I was expected to help plan and speak at the ceremony, as well as to take charge of tickets and decorations for the dance. However, there were a few conflicts facing this. First of all, according to my culture it is not respectful to wear anything revealing, and thus I would not be able to wear a dress like everybody else. Also, being escorted by a male across the stage would not be very appealing to my parents as well. In addition, dances, especially high school dances, are strongly looked down upon in Indian culture and seen as unnecessary.
I knew that no matter how hard I tried, I would not be like everyone else at ring ceremony. I feared that by respecting my culture, I would stand out from everyone else. I had the option to ignore my culture and finally fit in with everyone else for once, but something within me stopped me every time I tried. I finally decided to take a risk. To take a risk and follow my culture even if it meant that I would be seen as different. I knew I had to be true to myself and forget about what others would think. If I looked back in twenty years, I knew I didn’t want to regret my actions. The only way to avoid that would be to follow my heart and take a risk, even if it had to be in front of my whole high school class.
I spoke that night wearing a traditional Indian sari and walked across stage alone and unescorted. I finally took the risk to be different. To my surprise however, I received countless compliments that night on my sari, speech and even the decorations that I had designed for the dance. The only thing that crossed my mind that night was pride, pride in my culture and myself, and that was far more important than what anyone may have thought of me. I realized the true strength that I held within me, as well as the confidence that had been hiding for so long. I learned that everyone is unique in his or her own way, and it’s nothing to be afraid of. In fact it is something to be proud of. Standing up for what you believe in is what makes an identity. Otherwise, everybody would be the same.
By taking a risk that night and standing for what I believe, I finally found the balance between the two worlds that had been stretching me for so long. While staying true to my culture, I was still able to lead my class through one of the most important nights in our high school career. Personally, that is one of my greatest achievements, and it was only possible because I chose to take a risk. As Dr. Ben Carson states in Take the Risk, “Anyone who refuses to test his limits, anyone unwilling to move out of her comfort zone, is destined to live life inside the envelope.” Let’s just say I’m glad I chose to open my mail."

I had finally found my balance. Eventually I was even elected to become Student Council President, for who I was and what I stood for. So then what changed my entire life 180 degrees? Till my next post...

~Always Aruna